Why Do Men Have Difficulty Showing Their Feelings?

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1NEWS, Men and women handle emotions in very different ways. When angry, women are more likely to express their feelings directly and seek support from friends and family, whereas men may hide their emotions or withdraw.

“Men and women have differences, ranging from the body, brain, to the hormones testosterone and estrogen. This makes differences in attitudes and behavior between men and women,” said Dr. Ruben Gur, from the University of Pennsylvania.

Reported from Mens Line Australia, men feel they have to be independent and be able to provide for their loved ones. Therefore, they feel no need to show emotions. This behavior can be reinforced in the stereotype of men as heroic, fearless, resourceful, steadfast and usually facing adversity alone.

This is evident from a survey conducted by men’s health charity Movember and research firm Ipsos MORI to 4,000 men across the US, Canada, UK and Australia about their perception of masculinity and expressing emotions.

The results showed that 77 percent of men said they saw talking as an effective way to deal with problems, and 76 percent knew it was good for their mental health.

However, they did not. As many as 58 percent of men feel they are expected to be “emotionally strong and show no weakness”, and 38 percent of men avoid talking to others about their feelings so as not to appear weak and “unmanly”.

Following ACCURATE.CO describe some of the reasons men are reluctant to show their feelings, quoted from various sources:

  • Men prefer action over words alone.
  • Women are not the only ones who are encouraged to behave in certain ways because of gender. Men are also conditioned to behave in certain ways by the media, friends, and family. Men are trusted not to show their feelings, so they don’t.
  • Many men don’t know how to show their feelings. It’s also hard for men to change if they don’t know how to do it.
  • Men want to feel masculine. Crying is seen as feminine. So is complaining. It’s more masculine to fight and avoid talking about feelings. That’s why most men will be physically violent with other men before they admit they were hurt by something that was said to them.
  • Talking about your feelings forces a man to think about your feelings. He prefers to keep his emotions in check so he doesn’t have to think about them. He basically ran away from his problems for as long as possible.
  • Men don’t want to be seen as weak.
  • Some guys don’t talk about feelings, because honestly they don’t think about them. This is an extreme form of escape.
  • Men release their emotions physically, not verbally. They prefer to take it out on something else, like playing video games or going to the gym.
  • Men feel expressing their feelings will only cause problems. In order to keep the peace, he will handle his own feelings.
  • Talking about feelings is a futile activity. Some men never benefit from expressing their feelings. So they thought it was a pointless thing to do.[]


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