How to Manage Conflict with Children Through 3R Techniques

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managing conflict

ParentsDuring the pandemic, online school activities are an option to break the chain of Covid-19 transmission. Parents also have additional responsibilities. Apart from being a parent, Parents whose children attend online schools now also play the role of teachers at home. Spending 24 hours of time at home with children certainly requires good emotional management, considering that conflicts or problems keep coming and going in our daily lives. Great emotion management helps Parents manage conflicts with children.

Sparks of conflict with children can be triggered by trivial things to something more serious in nature. As a result, the emergence of conflict makes seven rounds dizzy. In fact, conflict is common and unavoidable. We can only manage conflicts wisely and well, not avoid or eliminate them.

Consciously or not, prolonged conflict and not managed wisely, can trigger stress to health problems that lead to physical, mental, and financial losses. If viewed in more detail, basically conflict does not only have a negative side. There are also benefits and positive sides that result from conflict, including:

1. Conflict can strengthen bonding Among Parents and child.
2. Conflict can lead to creativity and innovation.
3. Conflict can fix communication barriers.
4. Conflict can motivate collaboration.
5. Conflict can teach positive discipline from an early age.
6. Conflicts that are well managed and wisely and well targeted can actually provide positive benefits as above.

So, what is the right stage of managing conflict in order to maximize its positive effects? Try Parents do the 3R technique. What are the 3R’s? Here’s the explanation.

Related article: Child Conflict with Parents, Could You Be the Cause?


At this initial stage, parents need to recognize or identify mistakes objectively and responsibly. Keep in mind, identifying the fault does not mean blaming, yes.

For example, when children make mistakes in the form of not focusing when attending online school so they do not understand the material and result in not being able to do assignments. Try Parents find out, about what causes children not to focus when learning online, which parts have not been understood.

Ask the child directly, if so Parents not accompanying online lessons. However, if the parents were accompanying you at that time and you already know the cause, confirm the cause to the child, whether he or she is aware of the error.

Choose the right words so as not to seem blaming. If the words that appear seem to blame and interrogate, it is feared that the child will deny it and make him hide behind a lie. This will only add to the conflict or problem in the future.

Related article: 5 Stages of Teaching Children to Solve and Overcome Quarrel


managing conflict

The second stage is reconciliation. Reconcile or remediate conflicts through the apology process. Once your child confirms a mistake or omission, prompt him to apologize.

This also applies to Parents, yes. If it is objectively proven that the fault is also with the parents, then don’t hesitate to apologize to the child. For example, “Sorry, Mother didn’t accompany you when you studied online, so you didn’t understand how to do the work.”

Related article: 7 Characteristics of Victim Mentality Psychological Problems in Children that Can Disrupt Their Development


managing conflict

The third or final stage is rehabilitation. Do this stage of rehabilitation by focusing on solutions. Don’t drag on discussing conflicts or problems that have already occurred, but focus on what solutions are appropriate and can improve or restore conditions to what they were before the conflict occurred. Instead of punishing or nagging the child, it is better to immediately invite the child to correct the mistakes that have been made.

Well, those are tips for managing conflict in children with 3R techniques and applying positive discipline ways from an early age. Are you ready to apply 3R techniques to manage conflict with your beloved at home? Cheer up, come on!

Written by Devi Indriasari H, UGC Contributor of

Other UGC Contributor articles: background words

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