The Problems That Most Often Make Parents Argue in the First Year of Baby’s Birth

  • Share
Masalah yang Paling Sering Bikin Orang Tua Bertengkar di Tahun Pertama Kelahiran Bayi


The first year after having a baby is full of challenges. Not a few parents who have difficulty adapting, so the household is often colored with fights. Apparently, there are 7 problems that often make husbands and wives fight in the first year of a baby’s birth. Anything, huh? Come on, look at the info, Mums!

People say, after having children, the relationship between husband and wife is not as intimate as when they were newlyweds. Is that right? There may be mothers who say yes, but there may also be those who feel that children actually strengthen the marriage relationship.

According to Michelle Crowley, counselor for Family Services of Greater Vancouver, married couples know that when they become parents, life will change drastically. However, many of them are not ready for these changes after the baby is born.

As a result, simple problems can lead to big fights. Come on, find out 7 problems that often make husbands and wives fight in the first year of a baby’s birth!

  1. Sleep

Who would have thought that sleep became something very valuable after having a baby? A baby’s sleep schedule is still not regular in the early days of birth, so he can’t tell the difference between day and night. Not to mention, at night he often wakes up and cries, whether it’s because he’s hungry to breastfeed, his diaper is full, or he just wants to be carried by his parents.

Who is sleep deprived or who has to get up and stay up late to calm down, give milk, and change the baby’s diaper at night are often problems that like to trigger arguments in parents. Even though a schedule has been made to take turns looking after, in practice couples are often uncooperative and still sleep soundly when the little one cries.

Parents who sleep less or have disturbed sleep, says Wendy Hall, a UBC School of Nursing professor, tend to be more upset the next day and find it difficult to think clearly to solve the problems they face.

  1. Unequal division of tasks

“I’ve been breastfeeding Adek earlier. I haven’t stopped working all day, you know. When were you asked to change your diaper, don’t you want it?!” Hey, who is familiar with words like this?

Yup, there will definitely be moments where Mums are very frustrated because the task of taking care of the little one and housework feels like a burden on Mums entirely, while Dads seem to be able to relax while watching TV.

  1. Intimacy and sex

Back when it was just the two of us, all the attention was on each other. But after the birth of the little one, Mums and Dads began to share their attention with him. As a result, there is less time for the two of you.

For Mums, because you are tired all day taking care of the baby and the body has not returned to its original shape, you will definitely feel lazy to have sex. When there is time, I feel like resting and sleeping, rather than making out with Dads. When intimacy decreases, domestic life will feel bland. As a result, Mums and Dads will fight more often.

  1. Financial condition

When the little one is born, of course, the allocation of household funds will change. If in the past, for example, you could go on vacation whenever Mums and Dads wanted, now tertiary needs must be put on hold to meet the needs of your little one. If not discussed and prepared properly, this can become a sensitive topic and trigger an argument between Mums and Dads.

  1. Social life

If you’re a working mom, you probably don’t feel this way too much. However, it is different with housewives. If you previously worked or liked to do activities outside the home, after having children, you tend to spend more time at home with your little one. This can sometimes lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation from the outside world. In the end, Mums will be jealous of Dads who can still meet a lot of people because he works.

  1. Differences in parenting techniques

Differences in how to care for and raise children can be the trigger for endless fights, you know. Because of this difference of opinion, one of the parties may feel irritated and belittled.

  1. Parents in law

Not only Mums and Dads are excited by the presence of their little one, the parents-in-law will also be happy and can’t wait to spend time with their grandchildren. And it could be, there are actions or words in-laws related to parenting and how to care for your little one that are not pleasing to Mums. Moreover, Mums may still be very sensitive in this adaptation period. Because it was impossible to rebuke directly, anger was finally vented to Dads, which ended in a dispute.

The key is Communication!

His name is human, surely Mums and Dads are not free from mistakes. Especially if both of them are feeling very tired and stressed, then fights are often unavoidable.

Nevertheless, at least Mums and Dads can reduce friction by being more sensitive to the triggers, then discussing how to overcome them. Yes, Crowley says communication is the key to reducing fights in the first year of a baby’s birth.

“Couples should discuss changing priorities and how they can stay supportive of each other when new changes come their way. They need space to talk about their fears and feelings about life after parenthood and home life without feeling guilty. They need to remember that they are not only parents, but also a married couple with different needs,” Crowley explained.

When emotions run high, try to remember what made Mums and Dads love each other and want to build a family ark together. That way, Mums and Dads will be calmer and can sit together to find solutions to the problems they face. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely possible. Cheers, Mums, Dads! (US)

Reference

Today’s Parent: 10 things you and your spouse will definitely fight about in your baby’s first year

.

  • Share

Leave a Reply