1NEWS – Being kind to others is highly recommended. However, if you often please others more than yourself, you may be categorized as a people pleaser. Yes, this term is used to describe someone who always tries to make other people happy, even if it has to waste his time or energy.
Psychologist Ni Made Putri Ariyanti, M.Psi said that people pleasing can lead to frustration, because people who take advantage of people pleasers do not realize the sacrifices made. According to a press release RilivHere are some signs of a people pleaser.
Apologize often, even though it’s not wrong
Not a day without apologizing. In fact, you are always ready to be blamed, even though it is someone else’s fault. You think it’s better to apologize than to find other people hostile or even hating you.
Requires validation from others
You believe that you are the only one who deserves to be liked by someone if you have given everything you have to him. Out of fear of rejection, you try your best to earn the person’s praise and approval.
Feeling guilty after doing something
Being a people pleaser means saying “yes” to every opportunity, or doing everything that other people ask you to do. For example, when you don’t want to go to an event, but you still come. Finally, you feel guilty for wasting time, but you can fill it with me-time.
So, how do you stop being a people pleaser?
Politely decline a friend’s invitation and give a clear reason
Before saying “no,” it may be important to be aware of yourself. It’s important to be aware of what causes us to want to please others and to set boundaries by knowing what we want and don’t want, what we like and don’t like.
When you say no, you need to provide an explanation but don’t overdo it. To avoid hurting other people’s feelings, start with a compliment and end with a thank you.
Don’t apologize just because you just want to feel better about yourself. Apologies are meaningless if they are not sincere.
Find validation from yourself
Stop looking for validation and appreciation from others, because you only have to find it from within yourself. Do activities that make you feel good about achieving something. Have fun with your friends without having to do anything for them.
Most importantly, enjoy the happiness you feel without feeling guilty. If you are happy, you don’t have to please anyone else.